2022-01-26

I so desperately want to clean. I want two weeks alone to just clean and get things in order so I can have a proper home once more.

I hate how I collect things that I don’t really need.

I am stil feeling restricted, like I can’t do what I need to do to feel good. It’s just a feeling, there’s nothing physically restricting me, but I feel crippled, like I just can’t no matter how much I want to.

My stomach is aching again, this wormy crawling feeling, like something bad is happening that I am unable to see or take care of. I hate it. I wish I didn’t have to feel like this.

I have another full body inflammation now. My spine, my ribcage, my hands, left leg, everything hurts.

I need to find a way to get rid of all the shit.